In today’s world, where society dictates its rules and imposes an image of success, it is easy to lose yourself in the eternal race to conform.
Independence and marketability are considered indispensable qualities of the modern man. Some kind of superman or macho image is already the standard de facto.
Even from an early age, boys are inculcated with qualities of endurance, resilience and patience. All attention is focused on forming a certain image of a “real” man, which is absorbed at home, in kindergartens and schools, and then finally fixed in adulthood.
Most men’s lives are largely determined by the limitations embedded in role expectations. A man’s main task and value is material security, protection of home, family, and success. These tasks are worthy of respect, but they are merely social roles behind which a living man hides.
When they are mature, many men continue to carry out the programs that are built into them, and they do not even realize it, believing it to be a manifestation of their masculinity. Everyone would nothing, but no one teaches men to listen to the call of their own feelings.
Among the generally accepted parameters of a “real” man, it is easy to get lost and forget that a man is, above all, a man capable of feeling and experiencing. It is this ability that is perceived by many as softness and weakness. Perhaps that is why most men feel confused and ashamed when they come into contact with their feelings. It takes a high degree of control to avoid and not feel fragile and vulnerable.
Men try to effectively use any methods in order to reinforce their image as a “real” man and get a share of attention and recognition. 
By following the rules of society, they end up losing contact with their deepest needs. To avoid their feelings, men surround themselves with continuous work, alcohol, sex, etc.
Another common way of avoiding feelings is mentality, where a man completely associates himself with his mind, which makes him feel safe, secure, and able to keep everything under control. There is nothing more terrifying to a man than not being able to handle anything.
Although everyone has their own fears and experiences associated with them, men believe that they have no right to weakness and fear. Fear and vulnerability are hard for men to deal with, and there are many ways they delude themselves just to not feel it.
A man can seem completely independent and self-sufficient, but in fact doubt his real manhood. Doubts are like fuel that fuels an even more active pursuit of a sought-after ideal, and as a result, form a vicious circle.
External success, at the heart of which lurks fear, leads to a high degree of inner tension and a sense of losing something more important than the desired image. Fear of getting in touch with his emotional sensual part causes a man to increase the distance between himself and his own feelings, as well as those close to him. Often feelings of loss and depression are direct evidence of repressed feelings.
First Steps to Masculinity
The first step toward real manhood for every man is to understand that sensuality and emotionality are essential to a full and joyful life.
A man needs to recognize that feelings make a person alive and receptive, for it is the repression of our own feelings that robs us of our ability to engage fully in life, to experience deep love and creative lift. The ability to acknowledge one’s vulnerability and fear – is perhaps the most difficult step for a man to take. But it is with this step that freedom from the vicious cycle of endlessly conforming to an artificial image and trying to earn recognition will begin.
What will be required of a man is a sincere desire and a a high degree of consciousness.. This will allow you to see your defenses and strategies that separate a man from his feelings and experiences. Awareness means being able to see his behavior in different moments of his life: wanting to justify, suppress, control, humiliate, etc.
It may seem strange, but it is overcoming the fear of feeling that will make a man truly manly. It will be the kind of masculinity that accommodates courage and the ability to go beyond habitual reactions, the ability to be sincere and open. The willingness to allow oneself to experience and feel without judging oneself will return each man to his original wholeness, where there is room for both masculine and feminine expression.
I wholeheartedly support men in the process of knowing themselves and believe that each of them is capable of finding that state of wholeness and openness that gives understanding, love and acceptance of being different.
Love Maria Shakti 
