How to learn to live for yourself and why you should do it

How to live for yourself and why it's hard to learn Articles

What does it mean to live for yourself? Have you ever wondered about this question? Surprisingly, many people do not understand the true meaning of this phrase. For some reason it is not uncommon people think that someone who lives for themselves is selfish, narcissistic, and out of touch with the opinions of others. But, is this true?

Living for yourself and not for your husband, children, relatives, colleagues or any good causes doesn’t mean not giving a damn about anything and everything.. In psychology this notion is given another sense: to appreciate, sincerely love your own “I”, always find time for interesting activities, not to go against your beliefs and moral principles.

Does any of this get in the way of being a caring wife and mother a loving relative, a responsible employee? No, of course not. There is just so much confusion about what makes a person who doesn’t sacrifice himself or herself completely selfish. But it is possible that he appreciates himself and does what depends on him and not trying to jump over his head?

If you think you need to learn to live for yourself to finally start enjoying life, you’re going to have to work on yourself. Trust me: if you’re happy, the people around you will have only positive experiences.

Start living for yourself and your loved ones will be better off

How to start living for yourself

Staying late at work to run errands or not at all for yourself? Spending your time to your detriment to help a distant relative? Going for a walk with someone you know just because You don’t want him or her to be mad at you.? Using your friend’s services (for example, she is a hairdresser, manicurist, tutor, etc.) even though you are not satisfied with their quality or cost, but you do not want to spoil the relationship by refusing?

There are many more examples like this. If you recognize yourself, then you may very well be the kind of person who spends their whole life sacrificing themselves, trying to please and fit in with others.

Everything may be fine until such a person begins to realize that he is unhappy because he does not belong to himself, but He is always doing anything but what he likes and wants.. If there comes a moment of displeasure and realization that you need to live not for others, but for yourself, then you can be congratulated: you have taken the first step.

But, how do you understand what it is to live for yourself? This means that it is not necessary to strive to achieve perfection in any case, to spend time only on taking care of yourself, not to do something that will not benefit you (financial, moral or emotional). Although, of course, such a thing is not impossible.

The key message is this: to live for yourself is not to adjust to the opinions of others, it is to choose your own path in life and, in the end, it is to do what you like and want.

If you miss out on living, focusing on your own past, future or the lives of others, then you can’t call yourself free. Often the problem is that society imposes stereotypes on us, not only of behavior, but even of desires and thoughts.

Some people can’t tell the difference at all public opinion from their own preferences. This means that they are not free. No, they are not made prisoners of prisons. They have imprisoned themselves in a narrow framework imposed by society, which makes them afraid to think and act the way they want to..

Don’t know what to do? Tired of living for someone else and not for yourself? Then start working on yourself right now. We offer you A few tips to help you on your way to achieving this goal.

Try to enjoy life

How do you learn to do this?

1. Do not conform to any imposed ideal of beauty.

In different times there were their own ideals of beauty, which tried to conform to women and men. Today are such ideals as well – obsessively, and even aggressively propagandized. Magazines, television, movies, the Internet, social networks – they all teach us how true beauties and handsome men and women should look, and what to do for it.

Think about two important things.

  1. First, notions of beauty are very fluid, and it is not uncommon for people who have certain flaws (from their point of view) and want to turn them into virtues and objects of admiration to be the legislators of beauty.. For example, having a large buttocks woman begins to attract attention to them, constantly emphasizing them. After all, surely there are those who pick up this “wave” and himself begins to strive for it. It’s all in the confidence shown to people. Be confident in yourself.
  2. Secondly, the ideals of beauty are often imposed in order to enrich themselves at the expense of women and men who are not happy with their appearance.. Plastic surgeries to enlarge or reduce different parts of the body, expensive skin and hair care products, numerous cosmetic procedures – everything around literally screams that you need it in order to become more attractive. Don’t let others impose their opinions on you and you can find uniqueness. Act wisely and don’t be influenced by advertising.

What’s really worthy of your attention is exercising and eating sensibly. And, most importantly, within reasonable limits. This is necessary, first of all, in order to be healthy and active. But not in order to be fashionable and to please others. You are a person and your appearance is unique. Get rid of stereotypes and do not let those around you influence you in this matter.

2. Do the things you really like to do.

This can be as much about doing everyday things as it is about work. How can you start living your life of pleasure if your work is a real drudgery for you? Or if you’re constantly doing things that are supposedly necessary (for you or others?) but are not satisfying at all?

If you spin like a squirrel in a wheel, making do without normal physical and mental rest, then no wonder that you do not feel the fullness of life.

What to do? The art of living for yourself involves some action. Look for a job that you enjoy (even if it takes you a long time). Occasionally put off pressing matters so you can do something interesting or just relax (believe me, not washing the floor today, not cooking dinner or not taking out the trash – it’s not the worst thing).

Listen to yourself and feel what you want to do in the here and now. Of course, there are still mandatory chores, but make a promise to yourself: once you cope with them, you can do something that really interests you. This, by the way, is a good incentive to cope more quickly with routine and not very pleasant things.

3. get rid of destructive thoughts and phrases

You may not realize at first that it is your thoughts that keep you from being free. Here Examples of some phrases that in no case can you say to yourself or others:

  • “I am sure that I will not succeed. Push such thoughts away from yourself. They are terrible and only harmful. If you believe in your strength and luck, your chances of success in any case will increase many times.
  • “I don’t have enough knowledge, experience and confidence to get a good job.” Try to be original when offering your services to potential employers. Be persistent and confident.
  • “I’ll probably always be single/single.” Discard those thoughts. Even if you don’t have a significant other in your life yet, don’t dwell on it.

Use your free time away from relationships to realize your abilities, self-development, and unlock your potential. When you feel like a harmonious person, you are sure to attract happiness into your life.

Psychologists claim that by repeatedly repeating the same phrases and scrolling through certain thoughts, a person is able to create an attitude in the subconscious.. So instead of negative attitudes form positive ones. Over time, you will begin to notice how they translate into reality.

4. Seek change if it will make you happy

Many of us have a subconscious fear of making drastic changes in our lives. Yes, stability is great in most cases. But, only if it brings positive benefits.

Why, though stable, but nervous and low-paying job in which you are not appreciated by your superiors? And why communicate with a friend who constantly lets you down and gives you nothing but trouble? You lose years that you could have lived for yourself and not for someone else, trying to make excuses: “Yeah, not so good, but stable..

Sure, it’s hard to make the decision to change. But, think about how much fun a new job, a new relationship and an image can bring.

5. Never forget your own goals and desires.

Every day should be full of meaning. And for there to be one, you should have a goal and work on it at least a little bit. You need to think about what it is that you want.. Not your parents, husband/wife, friends. It is you. How do you know that the goal is not yours, but imposed by someone? If you don’t feel good about what you’re doing, then it’s not your goal.

Think about what can make you happy. Live your own dream, not someone else’s. And so that you can figure out your desires, we have prepared the following information. Read on.

Do what you love to do

A way to help you understand your true desires

  1. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into three parts. First, think about what things, things, events bring you joy and pleasure. It can be anything: pancakes with nut-chocolate paste, watching old movies, walking in the park, talking to some people. Write it all down in the first column of the sheet. In the second column, you need to write down what you don’t like, spoil your mood, and lead to discouragement (relationships with certain acquaintances, being overweight, not liking your job, etc.). The third column is for listing your dreams. They don’t have to be just global dreams. However, be as sincere as possible. Specify only those desires that are yours and not someone else’s. If you lie, there is no use. Sometimes it is very difficult to learn to understand your true desires. Even harder is to accept them. Even if you see your vocation as becoming a dog groomer or raising snails, don’t be afraid of your dream. The opinion of others in this case is not at all indicative.
  2. When you feel bad at heart, have some trouble and need a ray of positivity, take out this piece of paper. Look at the first column, which describes your joys and pleasant moments. After that, be sure to take the time to realize at least one or more of your wishes. Relatives, friends, acquaintances and colleagues will wait. You just need positive emotions!
  3. The second column, which lists everything unpleasant, should be thrown out. It is useless to fight with your complexes, failures, and negative experiences. It is better to focus your energy on new achievements, and describe your plan of action in detail, step by step. And do not think that your dreams are unrealizable. Start small. If you want to go to another country for permanent residence, start by learning its native language and labor market. If you want to become a TV presenter, enroll in the appropriate courses. To achieve something big, you have to start small. If you’re inactive, it’s unlikely that someone will come to you and offer you what you want. Unfortunately, there are very few cases where a person right on the street found his happiness.

Just think about how many beautiful things there are in the world. If you live other people’s interests, you will not be able to feel it to the fullest. Do not think about the past and the future.

Try to learn to live for yourself and live for the present. Start doing only what you really like, and you will be rewarded – the inner freedom. May you be fortunate in the accomplishments. Be happy!

With love and faith in you, Maria Shakti.

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