The Creative Crisis: Fulfilling Other People’s Expectations

The Creative Crisis: Fulfilling Other People's Expectations Articles

Life is passing you by and you still can’t decide where to go and how to fulfill yourself in it.

And the whole paradox is that even when we ourselves do not know what to do with our life, what we want to do, not to mention the creative flight, there are always people with a whole list of expectations in relation to us. They know exactly where you should go and what line you should stand in.

Have you ever thought about your life and your goals? Do you live your life the way you want to live it or the way you are expected to live it?

I, for example, was expected to have a career in economics and banking. It took time and inner courage to first recognize this false direction, and then to change the route of my movement. Later, as I took an active interest in the topic of creative emancipation, I realized that in each of us live silent attitudes – someone else’s expectations.

Whether you say them out loud, rebel against them, diligently follow them, or rebel against them, one way or another, they are firmly embedded within us and affect our lives. And under the weight of false directions and inner pointers, we drift away from our true calling and this process brings us deep disappointment and pain. “Why am I so unlucky in life?” – you think. Meanwhile, in the meantime, family, your immediate and extended community, society, and the culture we grew up in and continue to brew in feed us with their expectations.

What’s more, daily advertising creates and globally spreads a false image, to which, without really understanding it, we with a herd mentality begin to strive. And this whole set of attitudes and programs sits deep in our subconscious in the darkest corner and plays its underground role, but we, meanwhile, do not think twice about reacting to them.

Sometimes we think we know what we want, move up the career ladder, excel in business, and plunge into the business routine. We get recognition, development, professional growth and financial rewards, but we still feel a quiet, lingering feeling that we are missing out on something important in our lives, life is passing us by. Sound familiar?

Now, try asking yourself a simple question: Who led you astray? Who says you have to do what you do?

If you want to become free of other people’s expectations and the limitations associated with them, and begin to live your life rather than someone else’s, you need to identify as precisely as possible how these beliefs and programs came to you and who created them for you.

Take a mental walk through your immediate environment, paying particular attention to your family, for that is where the earliest and most enduring attitudes that may still resound in the depths of your consciousness are located. And as we said earlier, you can rebel against these attitudes or roughly follow them, their power in both cases is equal.

At times, parents openly state their expectations, saying, “Go to law school, then we can get you a job,” or “Being an economist these days is profitable and practical, so don’t fool around with your music or stop messing around with paints and get your head in the game. And there are times when we can feel indebted to them: “We worked hard to teach you, so now it’s your turn son, don’t disappoint us.

How about this option, you inspired by your dream, blazing with joy, you share with your parents the desire to be realized in the field of dance or singing, and you hear in response: “With this you will not go far, it’s show business, they will eat your guts and you’ll be left at the bottom of the barrel”.

Or maybe your family didn’t tell you anything specific, but you drew your conclusions anyway, and yet you received tacit attitudes that were also deeply embedded in your subconscious.

Let’s do an experiment and write down on a piece of paper the names of all the people close to you who were important to you in your childhood and adolescence, and perhaps still are. It could be your parents, teachers, friends, relatives. Across from each name, identify and write down what that person expects of you, what model of the world they fit you into. What do these people want or want from you? Don’t think for long, just write down the first thing that comes to mind. You may not be quite sure you know exactly what their expectations are.

Now look at the answers, at the attitudes and the image of ourselves that we have believed and by which we have limited ourselves. You might get something like this:

Mom – I should be a successful homemaker, a good wife, and a caring mother (Read more about the daughter-mom relationship).
Dad – I should be a successful manager and have a leadership position in the company. (Father and daughter communication problems.).
Older brother – Be confident, determined, always win.
Grandmother – I should carry on my family business and study to be a dentist.
Aunt – To be obedient, calm and compliant.

Try to put on paper in as much detail as possible all the attitudes and expectations you are striving to meet. After this exercise, you may discover many interesting insights and explanations for your former state of affairs.

When we were little, we had to learn to understand what adults wanted from us without losing touch with our own desires. Not an easy task, was it? So if we couldn’t do it when we were little, because of because of different factors of upbringing and conditions of perception of the world.We can correct this situation today, and put ourselves back on the path to our own creative realization.

We simply cannot change our lives if we pretend not to see these attitudes. It is important to take a conscious look at the old attitudes so they stop drowning out the whispers of your own soul and begin the process of creative liberation.

The Creative Crisis: Fulfilling Other People's ExpectationsBe free and happy

With love and faith in you, Maria Shakti.

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