Everyone knows the myth that each of us has a second half, without which life seems gray and miserable, there is no happiness and success.
And these halves wander inconsolable until they meet that one and only part of them that can finally create with them a single happy whole.
Many people sincerely believe in this theory to this day, showing all the signs of an unhealthy co-dependency. Imagine that you finally find that soulmate of yours. What happens next? At the beginning, you will feel a certain harmony and peace, but soon, not wanting to become an incomplete half again, you will begin to compulsively control each other.
This control will be expressed in constant calls, messages, clarifying relationships. And someone is sure to get tired of this tyranny and see that his half really is not so perfect and flawless, and you can make a more complete whole with the other.
Manifestation of co-dependence
This is how co-dependence manifests itself. It occurs when you genuinely want someone to complement you. Such relationships are doomed to short life, because they don’t give everyone the opportunity to realize themselves as individuals. Which means. That there is no true love either, because there is no trust and recognition of each person’s right to his or her own life and interests.
The myth of halves is an attempt by immature individuals to enact their own ideas of happy 
family life to find in the other person the opportunity to realize their own desires and dreams, to survive in a harsh world. Behind the obsessive desire to find a soul mate lies the fear of not being able to be successful in life without the other person.
When two people meet who have similar ideas and are unable to live fully without their soul mates, co-dependency develops. This couple always and everywhere wants to be together.
Being apart from each other causes them physical suffering and discomfort. Each of them concentrates only on their partner, forgetting absolutely about their own interests and desires. Such relationships initially cannot be truly strong and long-lasting, because they are built not on love and trust, but on unhealthy dependence on each other and the desire to control every step of the loved one.
Such a couple loses its idyll because of the tight control, and constant quarrels and clarifications of the relationship begin. Man and woman blame each other for all their troubles and failures. And no matter how long the serene period lasts – happiness will be short-lived. After all, each of the halves is waiting from their partner only what they need, not both of them or a loved one.
And as long as people believe in this myth and try to achieve their own wholeness at the expense of the other person – self-development will not happen and personal life cannot get better. The wholeness of each of us is hidden only in us. It cannot be contained in someone else, even if he is the most beautiful and kind person in the world, as you think he is. The partner can only let us notice the absence or presence of this wholeness.
Whole Personality
Feel the need to be a whole person. Don’t try to cling to someone and try to get what you want at the expense of the other person. Realize how important and healthy it is to be a whole, grown-up, self-reliant person and just love them, not expect them to meet your own needs.
Consider yourself as such a person and you will meet only such wholesome natures on your life path. And you will be able to build your relationships, being in harmony with yourself and having integrity and self-respect. And, of course, such an alliance can arise only with a mature person like you, who will not hammer you into his own frame, but will simply love you – without pretensions and picking on you.
And you will be absolutely happy: there will be for jealousy and control. There won’t be any reason to be jealous or controlling, and you won’t be irritated either. You will be close to each other feel only harmony and personal freedom. No one will interfere with your self-development, so there will be no desire to keep you on a leash and not to let go of themselves even a step. The phone will not burst, there will be no questioning, clarifying relationships. Just a healthy, loving relationship – without psychological violence and complexes. You will immediately feel ease around your partner, not the presence of an annoying burden. Life will become beautiful, and people around you will be nice and friendly.
With love Maria Shakti 
