Even a calm and peaceful person can feel joy from other people’s failures and wish others evil. Hate is a disease that begins with a wrong attitude towards yourself, and then rapidly spreads to everyone around you.
Psychology looks for the causes of destructive emotions within and carefully works through them with the help of special techniques. It is not difficult to understand how to overcome hatred of a person, but it will require courage and honesty.
Who is a misanthrope
“I hate people” – frankly confessing to something like this is difficult. Much nicer to close your eyes to the problem, to live on, as if nothing strange is happening. Except that the hatred for humanity will constantly grow and one day will become so strong that it will be impossible to cope with it without a specialist.
Everyone has heard the word “misanthrope,” but not everyone knows the definition. It is the name given to people for whom society seems hostile. They shun love and friendship, try to have less contact with others and constantly feel hatred for everything living. In any familiar see flaws. Be sure, even if the new companion in a misanthrope views are similar, he will find something to pick on.
Such a person is difficult to talk about their emotions. In this case, he is firmly convinced – all others have a similar negativity to each other. Psychologists attribute a similar attitude to the world Adolf Hitler, Jonathan Swift, Friedrich Nietzsche, Arthur Schopenhauer and other famous people.
The term became popular after the release of Moliere’s comedy of the same name. Misanthropy, translated from the ancient Greek, means hatred of people.
Causes of bitterness
Where does the hatred of the world come from? The reasons are as follows:
- Self-esteem insecurity. A person with low self-esteem hurts the words and actions of others. He is dependent on other people’s opinions, but he can not take criticism, so he tries to reduce communication with others to a minimum.
- Envy. The reason lies in the constant comparison of oneself with relatives, friends, acquaintances, and random passersby. Surroundings seem to the envious person more sympathetic, successful and happy than he or she is.
- Response. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And that’s not just a figure of speech. It happens, a person wishes everyone goodness and good luck, but in response suddenly gets a knife in the back. After betrayal begins to get angry, accuses the world of injustice and dramatically changes the approach to life.
- Mistrustful and suspicious. If you have been convinced since childhood that your friends are secretly taunting you and waiting for you to miss, then as you get older you begin to feel prejudiced against even new acquaintances.
- Externally imposed stereotypes. Destructive beliefs don’t always come from within the family. Any social conflict is accompanied by propaganda that results in rejection and anger. Negative emotions are experienced not by an individual, but by an entire group of people.
- Unexpected reaction to stress. It is not easy to overcome hatred of a rapist or terrorist. In a crisis moment, feelings get out of control and people manifest themselves differently than in ordinary life. History knows the tragic case of the shipwreck of the “Admiral Nakhimov”. A man, who experienced animal fear of what was happening, killed a woman and child in order to take away some floating object to save himself.
- Mistakes of upbringing. Stereotypes and scripts are imposed in the family. You don’t have to go far for an example. Parents broadcast that rich people are mean, it is impossible to earn a fortune honestly. This attitude from childhood sets you up for failures with money in adulthood. You will count pennies, live constantly without money, think with horror about retirement and do not know what to do with hatred of millionaires.
To understand how to overcome hatred of a person, you need to honestly admit to yourself the reasons for it. Try to remember that unfortunate moment when you began to feel anger. Become aware of what desires do not work. Think about what to do to fix things and remove the accumulated negative.
The one who hates the other has similar emotions for himself or herself. The misanthrope watches the success of acquaintances, comes to disappointing conclusions about his or her own worthlessness, and begins to be quietly angry at everyone around him or her.
The negative effects of anger on the body
What is hatred of a person and what its causes may be, we have dealt with. But it is also important to understand that negative thoughts toward others destroy a person from within, undermine his mental state and have a bad effect on his health.
Depression, constant collapse of strength, suicidal thoughts – all this aggravates the situation. Scientifically proven – people who have been “heartbroken” more often suffer from heart disease than those who were able to forgive the offender. Many people prefer to “eat” stress – so suddenly they become overweight. Others, on the contrary, forget about food and struggle to cram in every bite. Immunity weakens – the body becomes vulnerable to viruses and infections. The capacity for work decreases, the interest in life disappears, the energy goes out. Thoughts become chaotic, confused and heavy in a person who hates everyone. Creativity goes away.. Problems begin in all spheres, and they only grow with each day of inactivity.
Types of aggression
The feeling of hatred is expressed differently in everyone. The following types of aggression are known:
- Physical and verbal aggression. This type is used when trying to solve problems with fists, threats and insults.
- Direct and indirect aggression. In the first case, the negative is sent directly to the addressee. In the second case, the object is influenced indirectly – through jokes or dirty gossip.
- Internal and external aggression. Anger may be directed both towards oneself (internal) and others (external).
Love and hate
How to cope with the hatred of the person with whom you have a close relationship? What to do when time passes and unpleasant emotion does not lose its force? Between the strongest feelings are just one step – anger and adoration have a lot in common. The stronger the connection to the person, the deeper the feelings experienced. Passion turns to rage, and a person loses his head from anger and the feelings that come with it. In a moment of hatred you can stop controlling yourself.
A gruesome illustration of this example is the story of St. Petersburg State University assistant professor Oleg Sokolov, who, by his own confession, killed and dismembered his 24-year-old lover Anastasia Yeshchenko in the fall of 2019.
Where to start working on yourself
How do I fight hate? If I don’t want to seek help from a psychologist, can I cope on my own? Such questions arise from everyone who has experienced anger, resentment and frustration, but decided to work on their mistakes.
The road to self begins with honesty. You are reading this article, which means you are in search of answers. First, accept the anger and hatred. It’s natural that you don’t like everyone – someone’s outlook on life is diametrically opposed. Negative emotions suffer. First and foremost, the “bearer” of them suffers. After you’ve figured out the reasons, move on to action:
- Write out all the negative attitudes, replace them with positive ones, and read the new affirmations daily.
- When you catch yourself thinking that you are getting angry, mentally count to 20 and concentrate on your breathing. This simple technique really works and helps to urgently “resuscitate” yourself when you want to snap at those around you.
- If you hate and the strength of your emotions is overwhelming, you should try to get rid of the pain and resentment .. You can pour out feelings on paper, and then burn the letter, meet with a friend or talk to a psychologist.
- Try to get to know the person who pisses you off. Work out the reasons why he was unfair, ask important questions and listen carefully to the person you are talking to. Try build a relationship And set clear boundaries, so that in the future the situation will not repeat itself. Set aside all feelings to understand the mental structure of the object of hatred, its attitudes and beliefs.
- Stop focusing on your own emotions and always expecting a catch. It is better to think about what you are willing to give to others, what knowledge you are able to share. Hate goes away when a person stops focusing on himself and his own needs.
Psychologists advise distraction and switching to other things, but it is easy to doubt the effectiveness of such a method. Negative experiences with renewed vigor will come back later, and it will be even more difficult to defeat them later, if you do not correctly deal with erroneous beliefs from the beginning.
Remember that the world around you is just a mirror in which you reflect yourself. Strong thoughts attract events, people, and circumstances in your life. The deeper the hatred, the more evidence of your troubling thoughts… you’ll find in the future. So it’s time to break out of this vicious circle. If you stop living for your own needs and for the satisfaction of your hunger, your life will gradually begin to improve, and the question of how to get rid of hate will stop bothering you.
