How to love yourself and really improve your self-esteem?

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Probably everyone one day comes to the understanding that the ability to love yourself and improve your self-esteem is one of the important conditions for a happy life. Often insecurity and low self-esteem get in the way of making true friends, building a strong family and a successful career. But if you recognize the problem and treat it as an interesting task that must be solved, then gradually not only your attitude to what is happening, but also your whole life will change.

Let’s talk about where to start and how to keep moving toward your goals, no matter what, to develop self-love.

Why is it that some people are constantly lucky in all areas, while others on the contrary suffer one failure after another? This This article will be helpful to those who consider themselves to be in the second group and think that they are unlikely to have the strength and skills to take control of their lives.This article will be helpful to those in the second group who don’t think they have the strength and skill to take control of their lives.

Signs of insecurity

There are a number of signs that make it easy to know that you or someone you love has a problem with self-esteem:

  1. Insecure people often behave strangely in company. For example, can be modest and unsociable, and can on the contrary behave unnaturally and even defiantly. It’s important to realize that This is just a defensive reaction..
  2. Another extreme is the habit of constantly considering any event from the position of the victim, feeling sorry for oneself and trying to cause self-pity in others. This state of affairs may be to your advantage, but it is unlikely that a self-sufficient and successful person does so in an attempt to to get the attention of others and to gain support and understanding.
  3. Excessive jealousy – Another warning sign of low self-esteem. If you are trying to control your partner, vigilantly monitoring his or her social circle, reacting painfully to every sign of attention given by your partner to the opposite sex, then it is a serious reason to work on your attitude and Get rid of that negative feeling..
  4. Painful reactions to criticism may also indicate that you need to work on yourself and your self-esteem. When you do not like yourself enough and are not confident in your own abilities, any criticism from other people is perceived inadequately and seems to confirm your not the best opinion of yourself. Feedback is not a reason to give up on yourself, but another chance to become better, stronger and more successful.. Of course, in the case when you received criticism from a person whose opinion you trust.
Painful reaction to criticism
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How do you learn to love yourself?

You’re unlikely to build a trusting relationship filled with joy, understanding and caring if you don’t accept yourself. Affirmations or visualizations are not enough to make a difference and learn to love yourself unconditionally. Everyone has their own path to success in this matter, but you can take advantage of helpful advice from psychologists and writers for women and men. Do not expect quick results, but if you gradually change your approach to life and attitude towards yourself, the first pleasant changes will soon begin to occur. How to love yourself? This question will no longer occupy you if you act systematically and calmly.

Tips for Women

Women who have self-esteem problems may like Louise Hay’s books. If you want to accept yourself for who you are, check out her work. The writer gives some simple but important advice:

  1. Give up on exaggerated demands on yourself.
  2. Stop thinking about the future in a negative context and berating yourself for past mistakes.
  3. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

Consider each piece of advice in detail. First you need to abandon excessive expectations of yourself – inflated expectations are unlikely to make you a happy and successful man. It is better to objectively assess their strength, treat the mistakes as an experience, draw conclusions and move on.

Stop making unfavorable predictions in your head and replaying situations in which you feel uncomfortable. Try not to think about the future in a negative way, rather find something that will bring joy even in difficult moments. Every time you start thinking about bad things, “switch” your thoughts to a positive picture – for example, it can be some moment from the past when you were happy, contented and calm. So gradually develop a useful habit to concentrate on the good. It is important not to turn a blind eye to problems, but to solve them in time, without losing your positive approach, enthusiasm, inspiration and curiosity.

Stop berating yourself for the failures in the past – internal criticism will only worsen the situation, but praise and compliments are better to repeat as often as possible. Consider your reflection in the mirror with love and approval, set up only for the good. Try to understand what you want specifically at this moment, how the desired can be realized. Pamper yourself from time to time – for example, after you’ve accomplished a difficult task.

Stop criticizing yourself
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Ask for help when strength is low. Don’t think that you show weakness this way, on the contrary – only really strong people are often able to realize the problem. Be sincere with your family and friends, if you can’t do something, don’t be afraid to ask questions.Do not be afraid to ask questions, to ask for advice, to seek support. You’d be surprised, but the requests for help around you are often perceived with warmth, if, of course, other people’s kindness is not abused.

Louise Hay recommended to treat any problem with gratitude – difficulties make you realize that you have strayed from the path and tweak the route to continue to move in the right direction.

For a woman to love herself, she needs to take care of her body. Start to eat right, drink enough water, exercise, and see a doctor on time. Stop thinking that life will improve when you change something significantly in your appearance, such as getting rid of a few extra pounds. Realize that the sooner you love yourself and the body you were given, the sooner you can get closer to the imaginary image.

Tips for men

Problems with self-esteem are not just women. Often men feel like a real loser. Low self-esteem leads to problems in all areas and apathy, to cope with which alone is not so easy. Understand that the endless analysis and self-abuse will not make you more successful. Start with the active actions – for example, find a hobby that will inspire and enjoy.

Take up sports, work out outdoors, or start jogging in the morning. Gradually you will improve your physical fitness and well-being. With the right approach, combined with proper nutrition, you can even solve serious health problems. It is only important to take any action after discussing it with a doctor you trust.

Record your achievements in the diary. Make a list of affirmations and repeat them after waking up and before going to bed. Take compliments with gratitude, write down those phrases that inspire and motivate you.

Try to communicate as little as possible with those who complain about life and see everything as negative. Surround yourself with pleasant interlocutors who you want to be like.

Stop comparing yourself to others, condemning others and their actions, because it’s not that hard to find yourself in the position of the person whose behavior and actions repel you.

Do not compare yourself with others
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Tips for parents of a teenage girl

Most complexes appear exactly in adolescence. Girls who have problems with self-esteem, become withdrawn, spend more time alone. If we talk about external manifestations, it is often because of the rejection of the teenagers wear baggy clothes. The situation is aggravated by the fact that complexed people begin to slouch. There is a constant obsessive question in their heads: “How can I love myself the way I am?”

Self-esteem now depends on the opinion of others – even a minor phrase can hurt, offend and be remembered for many years. Girls, like young people, have a desire to conform to their peers in everything – for example, to make piercings, repaint hair in an unusual color, get a tattoo, buy a completely inappropriate, but fashionable clothes.

Have you detected all of these warning signs? Psychologists recommend talking to the teenage girl first of all, explaining to her that everything passes, her mood and condition will soon be different, all she needs to do is act. We are not talking about fanatical pursuit of the goal – for example, the desire to lose weight at any cost. You can calmly work on yourself, gradually improving what is given by nature. Talk about exercising on a schedule a few times a week, adjust the menu together, adding to it delicious, healthy and low-calorie meals.

How to improve the self-esteem of a teenage girl?
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Explain the simple fact that photos on social media and glossy magazines are most often meticulously retouched, so it’s useless to peer at unattainable standards. Find real photos of models and actresses without photoshop, look at these shots together to understand that there are no people with perfect looks from nature.

The important task of parents is to teach a teenager to lose and to treat any failure as a temporary setback. In this case, the main thing is not to criticize the girl, but to help her with advice and deeds. For example, to buy special cosmetics to care for problem skin or choose clothing that flatter the advantages.

In a conversation with a teenage girl constantly mention the character traits and qualities that you like. Praise for every useful endeavor and completed task. I recommend an article about Father-daughter relationships, how to fix things.

One of the best ways to respond calmly to the opinions of others is to focus on your favorite area, engage in systematic activities, and quietly pursue goals in your chosen direction. When there is such an “outlet” it is easier to accept failures, because there is something that gives a teenage girl strength and inspiration.

Love yourself: where to start?

What does it mean to love yourself and is it possible to learn? What is the right way to treat yourself in principle? These questions plague people of all genders, ages, and financial situations. In order to stop to stop being unhappy and to be happy, you have to Accept yourself with all your flaws and not always positive life experiences. Working on yourself should be a pleasure. Fix what you don’t like, but Try not to feel negative emotions.

To love yourself is to be able to set personal boundaries and defend them, if necessary. A person with adequate self-esteem firmly understands what he wants, talks about his rights. At the same time during any choice takes into account the opinion of other people, but first of all takes into account their own feelings, listen to intuition. You should not allow others to muffle your inner voiceIt is he who can often tell you how to act in order to get out of a difficult situation with dignity. A person who loves himself is unlikely to do anything to appear better in the eyes of others or to conform to their values.

Loving yourself means treating yourself right, not feeling the need for compliments and approval from other people. You understand and accept yourself, adequately assess your strengths and weaknesses, and work to become better and stronger, so judgment and misunderstanding from others doesn’t seem scary to you.

It is important to understand yourself
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What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is considered by psychologists to be a particular attitude each person has toward himself or herself, developed after comparing himself or herself with others. Usually people give simple characteristics that can be formulated as “better”, “worse” and “about the same”. The qualities assessed are usually those that are important in society at that time. So the traits that received increased attention in the early 17th century may be completely irrelevant in the 21st century.

Psychologists distinguish two types of self-esteem:

  1. Adequate.
  2. Inadequate (underestimated or overestimated).

The self-image of a person with adequate self-esteem corresponds to the real state of affairs. He evaluates his desires and abilities objectively, sets achievable goals, can look at himself from aside and anticipate the results of most actions. He or she listens to the opinion of others, but does not make it a priority.

Inadequate self-esteem can be both underestimated and overestimated. In the first case, the person feels helpless, puts down his or her hands and takes any failure to heart. People with an overrated self-esteem, on the contrary, are overconfident, hardly accept criticism, refuse to help, trying to do everything on their own, blame others for their own failures without trying to find the causes in themselves.

Why is it necessary?

Why is it important to understand whether you adequately evaluate yourself and begin to work on self-esteem in time? The answer is very simple – people who misjudge themselves are less likely to achieve good results and inner peace. If you feel constant tension, react painfully to the words of others to your address, constantly looking for flaws in yourself – it is better to begin to work on yourself sooner.

Why does a person need self-esteem?
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How do you accept yourself?

Unacceptance is caused by looking at yourself too critically. You may not like your personality traits or your own appearance. Obsession with the problems leads to unpleasant consequences – often a little thing can turn into a huge complexes, with which it will be difficult and sometimes impossible to cope on their own. The next stage is constant dissatisfaction with yourself is also projected onto those around you. People with inadequate self-esteem, who cannot accept themselves in any way, judge and criticize others.

Psychologists recommend beginning to work on yourself with the acceptance of your own body. Think about how you can take more care of it, learn to hear its signals. Try to start with an analysis to understand what it is that you do not like about yourself, how you conduct an internal dialogue with yourself, what emotions you experience during it.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What expectations are you constantly trying to meet?
  2. Who imposed them on you?
  3. Why do they seem so significant?

If you are trying to please everyone, sooner or later you will realize that you are beginning to lose yourself. Write down what criteria you use when evaluating, by what factors you realize that you have achieved your desired goals.

It is best to keep an electronic diary or make notes on paper to keep track of all results and to keep the situation under control at all times. The notes will help you analyze your thoughts at the beginning of your work on yourself and after a while.

Write down in a diary the most important and positive things
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Try to look at the world through the eyes of a child who loves and accepts himself and the people around him and never tires of marveling at the generosity and beauty of the world around him. Children know how to live in the moment, to constantly learn, to enjoy every little thing and to find something good and useful in everything.

How to begin to respect yourself and live in harmony?

How to achieve mental balance and learn to enjoy life again? For starters, try as little as possible to criticize yourself and get upset over nothing. Don’t think about bad things when you imagine the future. Not every alarm is justified. Worries can arise almost out of nothing. Bad events that you constantly think about tend to attract you unexpectedly.

Stop worrying about nothing
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Try to get rid of feelings of guilt – if possible, do everything you can to correct the mistakes you made, don’t repeat the things that hurt you or those around you. Don’t get hung up on evaluationsDon’t dwell on the opinions other people give you. Believe me, they are much more interesting to think about themselves than about you. Even the most successful people can have serious complexes and fears.

Do not dwell on what does not go according to plan and do not think that you’re a failure if something does not work the way you wanted to initially. It’s better to concentrate on solving problems and finding new solutions. Think about what will help fix things in the near future, make a plan and stick to it, gradually achieving your goals. If you follow these simple tips, you will begin to live in harmony with yourself and respect yourself.

What does it mean to live in harmony with yourself?
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Raising Your Self-Esteem

How do you start transforming your life? Let’s look at a few simple but effective ways to effectively boost a woman’s self-esteem. These rules can take on an armory and a man, in many ways they are universal:

  1. Try to spend more time on your favorite thing – This can be a job or hobby that gives inspiration and energy. Surround yourself with positive and successful people who do not stop in development.
  2. Don’t resist difficulties, but overcome them.. All circumstances are temporary; it’s up to you to make sure that the dark streak is replaced by a white one. Take control of your life, realize all the things that used to drag you down, fix things as much as you can – all this will help raise your self-esteem.
  3. Try to do the best you can and then no longer worry about – When you’re doing your best and depending on you, accepting a loss doesn’t hurt as much anymore. “I did my best” – if this thought is backed up by real deeds, it will help you defeat doubts and anxieties, become stronger, more confident and calm.
  4. Live Without Pity. Pity is the acceptance of the fact that a person can not cope with the problem at the moment, a sense of the unfairness of life. Treat with gratitude every little thing you unexpectedly get. Try to get a taste of life, spoil yourself with things that bring you joy – a long walk, a favorite dish, an interesting book.
Be grateful for every little thing
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What does “I love myself” mean?

As we’ve already learned, loving yourself is definitely important for building a harmonious life. If we simplify things considerably, we can come to the idea that successful people are those who know how to have an effective internal dialogue with themselves. One cannot do without adequate self-esteem and love for oneself, if one wants to achieve great results in life.

A person who loves himself and accepts all the shortcomings, knows how to work on himself, turning his weaknesses into strengths. Self-love is expressed by taking care of one’s body and state of mind.

Take care of yourself and your body
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Where do you start?

Any journey begins with the first step. So it is in working on yourself. The first step is recognizing the problem. There is no need to constantly close your eyes if something does not work and blame those around you for your failures. It is better to adequately assess yourself, your actions, to understand how you came to such results.

After awareness to make an individual action plan – for example, you can every day to repeat affirmations, meditate, do at least one act that brings you closer to your goal. Sometimes it is difficult to cope alone, in which case do not be afraid to ask for help from an experienced professional. You may be drawn to psychology – read articles by experts on topics that concern you.

Read inspirational literature
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Appreciate yourself

You have to love and appreciate yourself. But how do you learn to do that? The one who truly appreciates himself is the one who knows he is worthy of the best, ready to change to achieve his goals and work on himself as long as necessary, respectful of his own time and the time of those around him.

Psychologists suggest a simple exercise to get rid of negative attitudes from the past. Write down the negative words and phrases that undermined your confidence and devalued your achievements and qualities.

If you remember them quickly, it means they still have a strong influence on you. To enjoy the present, you need to let go of the past as soon as possible.. Tear the sheet into small pieces, burn it, realizing that all the negative emotions are gone, no more words of other people from that moment will have no influence on you. Repeat the exercise until you have really given up on heavy thoughts.

Exercise with a piece of paper
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Self-confidence – what is it?

Self-confidence is the ability to think positively about your abilities and skills, to feel that the experience and knowledge you’ve gained is enough to achieve your goals. Confidence appears when you are satisfied with yourself and the current state of affairs. It is formed not only at the expense of personal experience. It is also influenced by other factors such as the attitudes of parents and friends. You can develop self-confidence at any age, but don’t wait for quick results – it takes long and painstaking work.

Principles of self-confidence, where to start?
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Psychologists advise:

  1. Try to make important decisions at a time of day that is comfortable for you. Most people feel fluctuations in energy and mood during the day. Some have doubts before going to bed and are constantly scrolling through difficult thoughts. If you fall into this category, think of rituals that will help you relax better in the evening and fall asleep faster, and do things in the morning when you have more energy.
  2. Prepare Make a list of your strengths.List those situations when you were confident and satisfied with yourself. It Help you not to lose heart in moments of failure..
  3. Listen to others, but do not become dependent on the opinions of others. We already talked about this when we raised the subject of self-esteem. Stop trying to make a good impression on others to appear better than you are. Being sincere today is a real luxury, few people can afford it without looking back at other people’s opinions. Instead of talking about yourself, listen carefully to the interlocutor, show interest in his life, discuss the questions for which you can not find answers.
  4. If something is not working, don’t panic.But just ask yourself the question: Is it really as important as I think it is? Will I be worried about it in five years?
  5. Try to constantly learn and develop in different areas. It’s not about expensive courses. Study with pleasure – read books on your specialty or self-development, communicate with inspiring people.Watch interesting videos from experts, develop useful skills with the help of available applications, keep a diary of achievements. If you feel insecure about something, pay more attention to it, study the topic thoroughly.
  6. Get rid of past resentments.. Forgive those who have made you feel bad about yourself.Let them out of your life. Work on those fears and childhood issues that you still carry with you through life as a burden.

Appreciate and love life

The feeling of hopelessness, when you lose heart, is familiar to everyone. At such moments, the involuntary question arises in your mind: what to value life for? Loss of loved ones, health problems, failures at work – all this reminds us of the fragility of the happiness given to us, but it is the difficult moments that teach us to appreciate more the truly important things and to treat more carefully what we hold dear.

Take care of what you care about
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As long as we are alive, we have physical bodies with which to accomplish quite a few things. We can hug a loved one, go on a trip, order our favorite meal at a cafe and enjoy its taste, take a sunrise walk in a deserted city, or go on a nature walk with friends. Every person has his or her own list of things that bring joy. Try to indulge yourself more often, to enjoy the moment and focus on the things that give you a powerful energy boost.

Think less and live more, noticing the beautiful things around you. Constantly comparing yourself to others, such as when you look at your social media feeds for hours on end, is unlikely to do you any good. Don’t think about what you don’t have, but be grateful for what’s available to you right now. Remember. It’s not what your life is like, it’s how you feel about it.. One and the same circumstance may be perceived by some as a miracle, and by others as a tragedy. Stop blaming time, the state, other people that you do not have something. Take responsibility for your life and just take action.

How do you love yourself and learn to appreciate yourself? This is the question most people ask, because parents often tell us as children that putting our own feelings and emotions first is selfish and wrong. But after all It is self-love that opens many doors to important events. Take control of them, and you can dramatically change, improve, and love life. Then you will have the energy you need to make things happen, and even the biggest plan will no longer seem as global and unrealizable as before.


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